Even if your employees aren’t working with loose diamonds, treat them like they are. When they see the cameras scanning every inch of your business, outside and inside, and know your security officer has a wall of screens, constantly recorded, where he or she can watch their every move, they won’t feel distrusted and become disloyal, they’ll just think you really care about protecting them, their jobs, and the future of the company. When it takes them extra minutes every time they want to enter, exit, or move about the building just to type their pin number into a “scram-box” pad at every doorway they won’t be annoyed, they will tell each other how much they appreciate your investment in their safety and security. Never mind the fact that your company makes cardboard boxes and hasn’t changed its technology much in decades let alone patented anything, your employees will just think you are looking out for them.
“Scram-box” is a euphemism for the latest access pads used in building security systems. A small box on the wall displays a scrambled array of numbers after a security badge is swiped across it, and the employee must input a pin code and press the correct unmarked button to unlock the door. For entertainment you can have the boxes set at a height where virtually every employee will have to bend down at an awkward angle to see the numbers. Make sure there is nothing nearby on which one can set what one is carrying while accessing the scram-box. You can also place the scram-boxes close enough to the doors that someone coming through the door from the other side will inevitably hit the person trying to see into the pad, which is especially entertaining if the door is in a main path to the cafeteria and you can watch people dropping their food as they whacked with the door.
Try both audio AND video monitoring for even greater benefits. Audio monitoring is a powerful tool few companies use, or at least reveal to their employees, but it could be just right for you. Watching people on video is an old and very effective technique for controlling them, but the addition of audio is every more inexpensive and easy, and can be much more powerful. You can hide microphones in office areas in ceiling tiles, plastic potted plants, and in the video camera domes themselves. Certainly it adds a lot more data to survey, but the ability to hear the complainers, whiners, and malcontents among your employees, especially when they might be saying something about you, is invaluable.
Computer security is important, too. It may slow your computers and networks down considerably to implement all the different key-loggers, constant-on virus scanners, and other similar software, but you will have every key stroke and URL on file. Your IT (information technology) people may become a bit overloaded with the compaints about slow performance on your hot new computers, but they’ll live. It isn’t necessary to hire a security expert who really knows what they’re doing, either, as all the information you could ever want is right there on the web. Of course, you’ll have to allow someone actual web access to get to it, but that’s easy, and your employees won’t feel frustrated at the long “hour glasses” they get to watch every few minutes when they try to retrieve a file or email, they’ll just feel grateful that you care. Your new security regime may cost each employee an eighth of their time on the job in wasted time, and a few malcontents may get frustrated and complain, but most of them won’t be smart enough to know the difference.
Security can enhance your personal position, prestige, and importance on the job, too. When employees know that you are the one in control, that you can see every time they move their mice, hear everything they say (if you even let them know you can do this) and can watch their every move in the office, they will not forget that you are the boss. In addition, you can google them individually and check out their private lives on-line, look at their facebook and myspace profiles, etc., and then casually mention something so they know you are checking them out. They will be flattered that you took an interest in them, and the thought that you might be thinking of promoting them will motivate them to work harder and put in more hours. The psychological side of your security regime will be extremely low cost, so even if it doesn’t work well in all cases, you will still come out ahead. Their knowledge that you can browse the internet at work while they can’t, too, will emphasize your authority in their minds, never a bad thing. In fact, that’s almost as good as having your name broadly labeling your parking space, the one nearest the door so no one can miss it coming or going.
Having an elaborate and pervasive security regime will improve communications with employees. Since you will still be focused on saving money, as always, you can let the inevitable flaws in the system continue for months or years, and use the issues as reason to send frequent emails to the employees. For instance, if your system automatically unlocks doors as people approach them even though there is a scan-pad on the wall next to them, you can issue frequent emails insisting employees scan their badges to get through the doors, even though they physically don’t have to. Communications the other direction will be greatly enhanced by your ability to eavesdrop on the offices and hallways, too.
A good security system can enable swift, low cost staff reductions when needed. If you need to reduce staff or get rid of an employee who complains too much about your wasteful security systems, you can catch them on camera going through automatically unlocking doors without scanning their badge, which is easiest at the doors one can’t get through easily while carrying anything. You can also watch the parking lots to see if an employee parks in the wrong area or space. Even better, you might record someone mentioning something questionable in the office that you can use against them. It’s amazing what people will reveal when they think nobody is listening.
In short, security systems are powerful tools, not just for protecting your intellectual property, but for controlling your workforce. While the latest security systems may cost a pretty penny, they have all of the benefits outlined above, and more. So even if your employees aren’t actually working with anything of particular value, in a proprietary sense, you can make them feel like they are – a powerful morale booster – and the enhancements to your power and authority are almost too high to measure. Just don’t go overboard and monitor your own workspace, as your systems might record something that could become a liability to you. Know your safe areas and use them effectively, so that you can speak to an employee off the record and, even if they sue you and subpoena your security files, there won’t be anything incriminating there and the case will be their word against yours. Security can work for you and enhance your power because, after all, you’re the boss and they’re not.
Tags: bad management, business humor, humor, maintaining authority, management humor, management secrets, security
